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Physical effort: Low Lateral

Deep Longing: face-to-face on your sides, in a close embrace

Deep Longing is a face-to-face side-lying position built around an embrace. Both partners lie on their sides, chest to chest, with their legs almost straight and intertwined, and he wraps his top arm around her back. There is constant eye contact and room for kissing. Because her legs stay almost together, penetration is shallow and the movements are small and slow. It takes very little effort, which makes it a good choice for a calm, close encounter.

Also known as: Thirst · Deep Embrace · Face-to-face side-lying

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Illustration of Deep Longing: Both partners lie on their sides facing each other, chest to chest, in a close embrace with their legs intertwined, kissing while he moves gently.
Anatomy and biomechanics

Both partners lie on their sides on the bed, facing each other. She lies with her legs almost straight and slightly bent, one hand on his back. He lies facing her, turned slightly towards her so his chest rests against hers; his top arm wraps around her back and his lower hand holds her hip. Their legs are intertwined, with his top leg resting a little over hers. Each partner rests on their own side, so neither carries the other's weight. He sets the rhythm with small movements of the pelvis, and the hand on her hip helps keep them together. Because her legs are almost closed, penetration is shallow. Their faces are close enough to kiss throughout.

Why this position works

Many couples choose it for the closeness: the whole body is in contact, they can look at each other and kiss, and nobody has to hold up their own weight or anyone else's. The movement is slow and gentle, which suits tired moments, a calm pace or the start of an encounter. With the pelvises pressed together, some women enjoy the rubbing against the clitoris. Penetration is shallow, which some people find more comfortable. Sensations vary from person to person.

Deep Intimacy Relaxation and Surrender Easy Penis-Vagina Configuration

Variations of this position

Variation 1: her top leg over his hip

She lifts her top leg and rests it over his hip, still face to face.

Opening her top leg over his hip frees up the angle, so penetration can go a little deeper and he moves more easily. The embrace and eye contact stay the same; his hand can slide from her hip to the back of her thigh to support it.

  1. Start in the basic position, lying on your sides face to face.
  2. She bends her top knee and lifts the leg over his hip.
  3. He slides his hand from her hip to the back of her thigh to support it.
  4. He moves slowly; she can draw him closer with her leg.

Variation 2: she rolls halfway onto her back

She rolls back slightly, halfway between her side and her back, while he stays on his side leaning over her.

With her shoulders turned towards the mattress, she rests more of her back on the bed and he leans a little more over her, without putting his weight on her. The angle of entry opens slightly and the embrace becomes more enveloping; the kiss and eye contact remain.

  1. Start in the basic position.
  2. She lets her shoulders roll back onto the mattress, keeping her hips half turned towards him.
  3. He stays on his side and leans over her, resting on his lower elbow, not on her.
  4. Keep your legs intertwined and move slowly.

Variation 3: slow circles instead of thrusting

Instead of moving in and out, he presses his pelvis against hers and moves in small slow circles.

The position stays the same but the rhythm changes: with the pelvises pressed together and small circular movements, there is more continuous rubbing against the vulva and the clitoris and less in-and-out movement. Some women find this more pleasant; it is also quieter and less tiring.

  1. Get into the basic position and hold each other tightly.
  2. He draws her hips towards him with his lower hand so your pelvises are pressed together.
  3. Instead of thrusting, he moves in small, slow circles.
  4. She can guide the pace and pressure by moving her own hips.

✓ Tips
  • Use a condom if you need protection against STIs or pregnancy, and lubricant if the shallow angle causes friction.
  • Put a pillow under both heads at the same height so you don't strain your necks.
  • Let the lower arm rest under the pillow or behind her back rather than trapping it under your body.
  • Don't try to push deeper by forcing the angle: with the legs together, slow movements and pressing the pelvises together work better.
  • Stop and adjust if a hip or shoulder starts to ache.
Interaction type
Side-lying, face-to-face vaginal penetration in an embrace
Active anatomy
Penis
Receptive anatomy
Vagina
Main stimulation
Shallow vaginal penetration in a close embrace
Setups and participants
Couple · 2 people Hetero

Frequently asked questions

Is this position suitable for beginners?

Yes. It takes very little effort or balance, and both partners can stop, adjust and talk easily. Finding the right height may take a moment, so try moving up or down the bed until your hips line up.

Why is penetration shallow?

Because her legs stay almost straight and close together, intertwined with his. If you want more depth, she can lift her top leg over his hip, which is one of the variations.

Can it be done as anal penetration?

It can be adapted, but the face-to-face side angle is awkward for anal sex; side-lying positions from behind usually work better. If you try it, use plenty of lubricant and a condom, and go slowly.

Reviewed by the editorial team ·

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