Balcony of Sighs: standing sex position, carried in your partner's arms
Balcony of Sighs is a standing carry position. He stands with his feet apart and holds her off the ground, his arms hooked under her thighs, while she faces him with one arm around his neck and her knees bent over his forearms. Their bodies are pressed together, so they can kiss and look each other in the eye. Penetration, vaginal or anal, tends to be deep, and the position demands real strength and balance from the partner who carries.
Also known as: Seesaw · Standing carry · Stand and carry · Lift and carry
Anatomy and biomechanics
He stands upright, feet hip-width apart or a little wider and knees slightly soft, with no wall or furniture behind him. He slides both forearms under her thighs, close to the backs of her knees, and lifts her against his pelvis. She is held completely off the ground, facing him, sitting in his arms: one arm goes around his neck and the other can rest on his shoulder or back. Her knees bend over his forearms and her lower legs hang on either side of his hips. All her weight rests on his arms, shoulders and lower back. He moves her up and down with his arms and small knee bends, and she can add short movements by pulling on his neck. Penetration is deep, and the closeness allows eye contact and kissing.
Why this position works
Many couples enjoy the feeling of being lifted and held: there is full body contact, a lot of closeness, and kissing is easy. It has a spontaneous, passionate feel that suits a moment of desire away from the bed. Penetration is usually deep, which some people love and others prefer to keep gentler. Because the pelvises are pressed together, some women feel the clitoris rubbing against their partner, although this varies from person to person. It is short-lived for most couples: few can hold it for long.
Variations of this position
Variation 1: her back against the wall
He holds her the same way, but rests her back against a wall, which takes part of her weight.
The wall takes part of her weight, so his arms and lower back work less and the position is much more stable. He can bring his pelvis closer and thrust with more control, and she can wrap both arms around his neck.
- He lifts her in front of a smooth, solid wall, forearms under her thighs.
- He steps forward until her back touches the wall.
- She holds on to his neck with both arms and lets the wall support her.
- He adjusts the height by bending his knees and moves with short thrusts.
Variation 2: his back against the wall
The partner who carries rests his back against a wall while holding her, to take the strain off his lower back.
With his back against the wall, his lower back no longer has to counter the forward pull of her weight, and the risk of losing balance drops. He moves less and she takes more of the rhythm, pulling on his neck and rocking her pelvis.
- He stands with his back to a wall, feet slightly forward and knees bent.
- He lifts her as in the basic position, forearms under her thighs.
- He rests his back and the back of his head against the wall.
- She sets the pace with short rocking movements, holding on to his neck.
Variation 3: resting on the edge of a table or counter
He carries her next to a high, stable table or counter, and rests her buttocks on the edge when he needs a break.
The mechanics are the same, but the edge of the furniture takes her weight whenever he needs it. You can switch between being fully carried and a short rest without separating, and the load on his arms and lower back comes in short spells.
- Choose a solid table or counter at the height of his pelvis that will not slide or tip over.
- He lifts her in his arms, facing the furniture.
- When he needs a rest, he sets her buttocks on the edge without letting go of her thighs.
- He lifts her slightly again when you want to carry on moving.
Variation 4: her legs crossed behind his back
Instead of resting the backs of her knees on his forearms, she wraps her legs around his waist and crosses her ankles behind him.
She carries part of her own weight by squeezing with her legs, and he can hold her by the buttocks instead of the thighs. Her pelvis is less open, penetration is usually a little less deep, and body contact is even greater.
- He lifts her facing him, holding her by the buttocks.
- She wraps her legs around his waist and crosses her ankles behind his back.
- She holds on to his neck or shoulders with both arms.
- Move with short rocking motions; she can help by squeezing with her legs.
✓ Tips
- Lift her with your legs, not your back: bend your knees, keep her close to your body and straighten up with your back upright.
- Stand on a firm, non-slip surface, with clear space around you and a bed or sofa nearby to sit down on if you lose your balance.
- Hold her by the thighs, close to the knees, and keep your arms close to your body; she should hold on to your neck without hanging from it.
- Short, controlled movements are safer than wide thrusts: if the penis slips out, put her down or guide it back in by hand rather than pushing blindly.
- Use lubricant; for anal sex, plenty of lubricant and a condom, and go slowly.
- Stop as soon as either of you feels strain in the back, arms or neck, or the position becomes unstable.
Key facts
- Interaction type
- Standing vaginal or anal penetration, with her carried face to face
- Active anatomy
- Penis
- Receptive anatomy
- Vagina or anus
- Main stimulation
- Deep vaginal or anal penetration; possible clitoral contact against the partner's pubic bone
- Setups and participants
- Couple · 2 people Hetero
Frequently asked questions
Do you need to be very strong?
You need a fair amount of strength in the legs, arms and lower back, and it gets harder the bigger the difference in body size. Leaning against a wall, or resting her on the edge of a high, stable surface, makes it much easier.
Is it a good idea with back problems?
Not for the partner who carries: all the weight goes through his lower back. If either of you has back pain, choose a position without lifting.
Can we do it in the shower?
It is risky: wet floors make falls more likely. If you try it, use a non-slip mat and keep the movements very small.
Can it be anal?
Yes, but deep anal penetration while standing needs plenty of lubricant, a condom, prior preparation and slow movements. Stop if there is any pain.
Safety and evidence
This section summarizes anatomical and clinical evidence relevant to this position. The sources provide context; they do not show that a specific position guarantees pleasure, orgasm or a particular type of stimulation.
Anatomical variability
Vaginal shape, axis and dimensions vary considerably from person to person. As a result, depth and comfort may differ even when using the same position.
Pain and deep penetration
If penetration causes deep, recurrent or persistent pain, it is advisable to reduce the depth or stop the activity. If the problem continues, a professional assessment is recommended.
Lubrication and comfort
When there is dryness, friction or discomfort, a suitable lubricant may make sexual activity easier and improve comfort. Its use is not universally necessary.
Anal sex: care and prevention
The anus does not lubricate itself and its lining is thin. Plenty of lubricant, a condom, going slowly and being able to stop at any moment make it more comfortable and lower the risk of injury and infection.
Penile fracture: prevention and warning signs
It is uncommon, but it can happen when the erect penis bends suddenly, often after slipping out and hitting the partner’s pubic bone or perineum. Moving with control and slowing down if the penis slips out helps prevent it.
STI protection: condoms and dental dams
A condom, put on from the start and used throughout, is the most effective way to reduce sexually transmitted infections during penetration. For oral sex, a condom or a dental dam lowers the risk.
Reviewed by Francisco Muñoz, editor ·
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