How to Choose a Personal Lubricant: Water, Silicone and Compatibility

Water-based

The simplest place to start. It rinses off with water, does not stain and works with condoms. A gynaecologist writing for ACOG (the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) says she prefers water-based products for vaginal dryness, even though they do not last as long as silicone. The only drawback: they dry sooner and need reapplying.

Silicone-based

It stays slippery for much longer. That makes it handy for longer sessions or for anal sex, where the body produces no natural lubrication (see safe anal sex). It is safe with latex. If you plan to use it with a silicone toy, check the manufacturer's instructions first.

Oil-based

The CDC warns that oil-based lubricants such as petroleum jelly or body lotions weaken latex and can make condoms break. ACOG adds that they can cause irritation. If you use latex condoms, avoid them. It is one of the most common condom mistakes.

• More pleasure, few problems: in an Indiana University study published in *The Journal of Sexual Medicine* (Herbenick and colleagues, 2011), 2,453 women kept a daily diary of their sexual activity for five weeks. Using a water- or silicone-based lubricant was linked to more pleasure and satisfaction, both solo and with a partner. Genital symptoms were rare, and slightly less common with water-based products.
• A self-care product: the WHO lists lubricants among interventions for sexual well-being and notes that they are available without a prescription.
• What a good lubricant looks like: for its health programmes, the WHO and UNFPA require lubricants to be condom-compatible, and water-based ones to have an osmolality (concentration of dissolved substances) below 1,200 mOsm/kg and a pH between 4 and 7. Vaginal pH is around 4.

You will rarely see these figures on the label. If you have sensitive skin, the practical rule is to choose simple formulas without fragrance, flavours or warming or cooling effects.

1. Using latex condoms? Water or silicone. Never oil.
2. Need it to last? Silicone lasts longer; with water-based, simply reapply when needed.
3. Toys? Water-based is the safe bet. With silicone, follow the manufacturer's guidance.
4. Sensitive skin? Try a simple formula first, in a small amount. If you notice stinging, burning or itching, stop and switch products.
5. How much? There is no universal amount. Start small and add more if friction appears. Reapplying is normal.

• Lubricant is used in the moment and reduces discomfort during penetration or touch.
• A vaginal moisturiser is applied regularly, not just before sex, and adds moisture inside the vagina and to the vulva.

If you have dryness and are sexually active, ACOG advises using both: a moisturiser daily or several times a week, and lubricant during sex.

Dryness is very common and has many causes. According to ACOG, the most frequent are:

• menopause and the years before it (read sexuality during menopause);
• the months after giving birth and breastfeeding, when oestrogen drops (see the pregnancy and postpartum guide);
• cancer treatment and anti-oestrogen medicines;
• some antidepressants and allergy or cold medicines;
• Sjögren's syndrome, an autoimmune condition that also dries the mouth and eyes.

ACOG recommends seeing a doctor if irritation or pain has not improved after about two months of using a moisturiser and lubricant, or sooner if there are other symptoms such as bleeding or unusual discharge. If pain is the main problem, pain during sex and the pelvic health and pain relief guide can help.

• Choosing only by scent or flavour without checking compatibility.
• Using oil, petroleum jelly or body lotion with latex condoms.
• Carrying on with a formula that irritates you.
• Assuming that needing lubricant means low desire or arousal.
• Trying to cover up pain that keeps coming back with more lubricant.

If in doubt, start with a simple water-based lubricant. The best one is not the most sophisticated, but the one that suits what you are doing and your body.