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Physical effort: Low Adapted

The Venus Balm: oral sex at the edge of the bed, both kneeling

The Venus Balm is an oral sex position that uses the bed to even out heights. He kneels upright on the edge of the mattress, and she kneels on the floor in front of him, sitting back on her heels with her face at the level of his groin. She sets the pace with her mouth and her hands on his hips. It is a simple, low-effort position, with room for eye contact.

Also known as: The Compliment · Kneeling oral sex at the edge of the bed

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Illustration of The Venus Balm: Oral sex on the penis using the edge of the bed: he kneels upright on the mattress and she kneels on the floor in front of him, her face at the level of his gro
Anatomy and biomechanics

He kneels upright on the edge of the bed, torso vertical, with his lower legs resting on the mattress behind him and his head tilted down towards her. She kneels on the floor facing the bed, sitting back on her heels, torso upright and leaning slightly forward, so her face is level with his groin. Her hands rest on his hips or thighs, which lets her guide the distance and the rhythm. His hands can rest lightly on her head, but only if she wants it and without pushing. There is no penetration and little body contact; they can look at each other. The main load falls on her knees on the floor.

Why this position works

Some couples like it because the bed solves the height problem: she does not have to bend her neck or crane upwards, and he is stable on his knees. She keeps control of the pace and depth with her mouth and hands, which many people find makes oral sex more relaxed. They can look at each other, and he has a clear view of her. Sensations and preferences vary from person to person.

Sensory Exploration Complete Rhythm Control Easy Non-Penetrative Interaction

Variations of this position

Variation 1: she kneels upright

Instead of sitting on her heels, she rises onto her knees with her thighs vertical, for when the bed is a little high.

Lifting her hips off her heels raises her face by several centimetres, so she can match a higher bed without stretching her neck. It takes a little more effort from her thighs and puts the weight squarely on her kneecaps, so a cushion matters more.

  1. He kneels upright on the edge of the bed.
  2. She places a thick cushion on the floor and kneels on it facing him.
  3. She lifts her hips off her heels until her face is level with his groin, with her hands on his hips for support.
  4. When her thighs tire, she sits back on her heels for a moment.

Variation 2: mouth and hand together

She moves one hand from his hip to the base of his penis and combines her mouth with stroking.

The position stays the same, but her hand at the base controls how deep it goes and adds stimulation where her mouth does not reach. Her other hand stays on his hip, so she keeps her balance and control of the distance.

  1. Get into the base position, with her sitting on her heels on a cushion.
  2. She keeps one hand on his hip and wraps the other around the base of his penis.
  3. She moves her hand and mouth together, using the hand as a stop for depth.
  4. He keeps his hands still, on the bed or lightly on her shoulders.

Variation 3: him leaning back on his hands

He leans his torso back and rests his hands on the mattress behind him, still kneeling on the edge of the bed.

Leaning back pushes his hips slightly forward towards her and frees her head from his hands, so she has full control. He can relax his back and watch her. The position is a little less stable for him, so the movements stay gentle.

  1. He kneels upright on the edge of the bed, with her kneeling on the floor in front of him.
  2. He leans his torso back and places his hands flat on the mattress behind his feet.
  3. He lets his hips come slightly forward and stays still.
  4. She sets the pace with her mouth and her hands on his thighs.

✓ Tips
  • Put a cushion or folded towel under her knees: they carry most of her weight on the floor.
  • Adjust the height: if her face is not level with his groin, she can kneel up more or sit lower on her heels, or he can widen his knees.
  • She sets the pace; he can rest his hands on her head only if she wants it, never to push or hold her.
  • Agree on a simple signal to pause, such as a tap on his thigh.
  • Cover the teeth with the lips and use the hands to control how deep it goes.
  • Oral sex can transmit STIs: a condom reduces the risk, and regular testing helps too.
Interaction type
Oral sex on the penis, with him kneeling on the edge of the bed
Active anatomy
Mouth and hands
Receptive anatomy
Penis and testicles
Main stimulation
Oral stimulation of the penis, with him kneeling on the edge of the bed
Setups and participants
Couple · 2 people Hetero

Frequently asked questions

Is this position suitable for beginners?

Yes. It takes little effort and balance, and the bed puts both of you at a comfortable height. The only demand is on her knees, so use a cushion.

Who controls the rhythm?

She does, with her mouth and her hands on his hips. If he puts his hands on her head, it should be gentle and only if she wants it.

What if the heights do not match?

She can kneel up or sit lower on her heels, or he can open or close his knees on the mattress. A thicker cushion under her knees also helps.

Is there a risk of STIs?

Yes, infections such as gonorrhoea, syphilis or herpes can be passed on through oral sex. A condom and regular testing reduce the risk.

Reviewed by the editorial team ·

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