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Physical effort: Low Lateral

The Firefly Dance: side-lying 69 for mutual oral sex

The Firefly Dance is a side-lying 69: both partners lie on their sides, head to feet, and give each other oral sex at the same time. There is no penetration. It is a relaxed, low-effort way to enjoy mutual oral sex, because nobody has to hold their weight above the other, and it works for any couple: the illustration shows a man and a woman.

Also known as: Side 69 · Sideways 69 · Side-by-side 69 · 69 de lado

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Illustration of The Firefly Dance: A side-lying 69: both partners lie on their sides, head to feet, for mutual oral sex.
Anatomy and biomechanics

Both partners lie on their sides on the bed, facing each other but in opposite directions, so each person's head is level with the other's genitals. One partner rests their head on a pillow, keeps the lower leg straight and lifts and bends the upper leg to make room for the other's head. The other partner lies on their side with their head between those thighs and part of their upper body resting against their partner's hip; one hand can hold a buttock to keep them close. Nobody is on top, both set the pace together, and the only real effort is keeping the neck slightly bent. There is no eye contact, and body contact is concentrated at the hips and thighs.

Why this position works

Many people find this the most comfortable way to do a 69: lying on your side means nobody supports their partner's weight or holds themselves up on their arms, so it can last longer and feel more relaxed. Both partners give and receive at the same time, and the raised leg makes it easy to adjust the distance. Some people find receiving while giving very arousing; others prefer to take turns. Experiences vary from person to person.

Sensory Exploration Relaxation and Surrender Easy Maximized Clitoral Stimulation Non-Penetrative Interaction

Variations of this position

Variation 1: leg over the shoulder

The raised leg rests on the partner's shoulder instead of being held up.

Instead of keeping the upper leg lifted in the air, the partner whose leg is raised rests it over the other person's shoulder or upper back. The opening stays the same, but the leg no longer needs muscle effort, so the position can be held longer.

  1. Lie on your sides, head to feet, as in the basic position.
  2. The partner with the raised leg bends it at the knee and places it over the other person's shoulder.
  3. The partner giving oral sex settles their head between the thighs, using the leg as a gentle support.
  4. Adjust the distance by sliding the hips closer or further away.

Variation 2: head on the thigh

Each partner rests their head on the other's lower thigh instead of a pillow.

Both partners slide down slightly so they can rest their head on the inside of the other person's lower thigh. This replaces the pillow, keeps the neck straighter and brings the mouth level with the genitals without having to lift the head.

  1. Lie on your sides, head to feet.
  2. Slide down until your head can rest on the inner side of your partner's lower thigh.
  3. Let the thigh take the weight of your head and relax your neck.
  4. If the angle feels awkward, add a thin pillow under the thigh.

Variation 3: taking turns

Same position, but only one partner gives oral sex at a time.

The body position does not change: one partner gives oral sex while the other simply receives and relaxes, then they swap. It makes it easier to concentrate on each sensation and to say what you like.

  1. Get into the side-lying 69 position.
  2. Agree who gives first; the other partner relaxes and focuses on receiving.
  3. Swap roles when you choose, without moving out of position.
  4. Finish by giving to each other at the same time if you both feel like it.

Variation 4: adding the hands

The mouth stays in charge, and the free hand adds caresses.

Each partner keeps giving oral sex but uses their free hand to add touch: holding the base of the penis, spreading the labia or stroking the perineum and inner thighs. The position is the same; only the free hand comes into play.

  1. Get into the side-lying 69 position.
  2. Use the hand that is not under your body to caress your partner's genitals or thighs.
  3. Coordinate the movement of your hand with your mouth.
  4. Keep nails short and hands clean, and ask what feels good.

✓ Tips
  • Put a pillow under each person's head, or rest your head on your partner's thigh, so your neck does not stay bent and tense.
  • Lift the upper leg only as much as needed; resting it on your partner's shoulder saves effort.
  • Agree on simple signals: with your mouth busy it is harder to say what you like or ask to stop.
  • Oral sex can pass on sexually transmitted infections: a condom or a dental dam reduces the risk.
  • Avoid sharp movements with the hips: the person giving oral sex has little room to pull back.
Interaction type
Mutual oral sex (69) lying on the side
Active anatomy
Mouth and tongue
Receptive anatomy
Vulva and penis
Main stimulation
Mutual oral sex: oral on the vulva and on the penis at the same time
Setups and participants
Couple · 2 people Hetero

Frequently asked questions

Is it suitable for beginners?

Yes. It is one of the easiest ways to try a 69 because nobody has to hold themselves up. The only thing to watch is neck comfort.

Can any couple do it?

Yes. A side-lying 69 works for a man and a woman, two men or two women; only what each mouth focuses on changes.

What if it is hard to concentrate on giving and receiving at once?

That is common. You can take turns: one partner gives while the other relaxes, then swap without changing position.

Does it need protection?

Oral sex can transmit some infections. A condom on the penis or a dental dam over the vulva reduces the risk, especially with new partners.

Reviewed by the editorial team ·

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