The Caress of the Mirror: oral sex from behind, kneeling on a chair
The Caress of the Mirror is an oral sex position from behind. She kneels on the seat of a chair, facing the backrest, and rests her forearms and head on top of it, with her buttocks pushed back. He kneels on the floor behind the chair, with his face at the level of her vulva and anus. It allows cunnilingus and anilingus without anyone having to hold their own weight, and the chair puts her pelvis at a comfortable height.
Also known as: Funny joke
Anatomy and biomechanics
The receiving partner goes on all fours on the chair: both knees on the seat, torso bent forward and forearms crossed over the backrest, where she also rests her head. Her buttocks face the free edge of the seat, slightly higher than the giver's face. The giving partner kneels on the floor behind her with an upright torso and rests both hands on her buttocks to part them gently and guide the movement. The giver sets the pace with tongue and lips; the receiver can move her pelvis closer or further away. There is no eye contact or kissing, and body contact is minimal. The load falls on both partners' knees: hers on the hard seat and his on the floor.
Why this position works
The chair puts her pelvis right at the level of her partner's mouth, without either of them supporting their weight on their arms. From behind, the vulva, clitoris and anus are easy to reach, and the receiving partner can relax against the backrest. Some people also enjoy the feeling of letting go without being seen. What feels good varies greatly from person to person.
Variations of this position
Variation 1: on all fours at the edge of the bed
No chair: she is on all fours at the edge of the bed and he kneels on the floor.
The mattress replaces the chair. She rests knees and hands (or forearms) on the bed with her buttocks at the edge, and he kneels on the floor. It is more stable and softer on her knees, although the height depends on the bed.
- She gets on all fours on the bed, knees near the edge.
- He kneels on the floor behind her, with a cushion under his knees.
- If the bed is low he sits back on his heels; if it is high he kneels more upright.
- He uses his mouth while she guides him with her voice.
Variation 2: she leans further over the backrest
She lowers her chest onto the backrest and pushes her buttocks further back, opening access to the anus.
She lowers her torso until her chest rests on the backrest (with a cushion on top) and moves her knees back toward the edge of the seat. Her pelvis tilts back, exposing the anal area more; the vulva sits slightly lower.
- Put a cushion over the backrest.
- She rests her chest on the cushion and moves her knees to the edge of the seat.
- He adjusts his height by sitting on his heels or kneeling upright.
- Use a dental dam if there is anilingus.
Variation 3: mouth and hand together
While using his mouth, he reaches round with one hand to caress the clitoris.
The position is the same, but he slides one hand between her legs to stroke the clitoris with his fingers while stimulating the vulva or anus with his mouth. She can open her knees a little more to make room for the hand.
- From the basic position, she opens her knees slightly.
- He reaches one hand forward between her legs to the clitoris.
- He combines hand and mouth at the pace she asks for.
- Wash your hands or change the barrier if you move from the anus to the vulva.
✓ Tips
- Use a stable chair without wheels, against a wall if needed, so it cannot move.
- Put a cushion on the seat and another on the floor: both partners' knees bear weight the whole time.
- For anilingus, use a dental dam (or a condom cut open) and start with good hygiene.
- Do not move from mouth-on-anus to the vulva without washing or changing the barrier: bacteria can be carried to the vagina.
- Talk during the position: the receiving partner cannot see the other and needs to say what feels good and what does not.
- Oral sex can also transmit STIs: barriers reduce the risk.
Key facts
- Interaction type
- Oral sex from behind (cunnilingus and anilingus), she kneels on a chair
- Active anatomy
- Mouth and tongue
- Receptive anatomy
- Vulva and anus
- Main stimulation
- Oral sex from behind: cunnilingus and anilingus
- Setups and participants
- Couple · 2 people Hetero
Frequently asked questions
Can it be done without a chair?
Yes, with her on all fours at the edge of the bed and him kneeling on the floor; the chair just helps with height and arm support.
Is there penetration in this position?
No. It is an oral sex position from behind: cunnilingus, anilingus or both.
How can anilingus be made safer?
With prior hygiene, a dental dam, and never moving from the anus to the vulva without changing it.
Is it hard on the knees?
It can be if it goes on for a while: one cushion on the seat and one on the floor prevent that.
Safety and evidence
This section summarizes anatomical and clinical evidence relevant to this position. The sources provide context; they do not show that a specific position guarantees pleasure, orgasm or a particular type of stimulation.
Clitoral stimulation and orgasm
For many women, the most reliable route to orgasm is clitoral stimulation, direct or indirect. A position that leaves hands free or lets the clitoris be rubbed makes it easier to add during penetration.
STI protection: condoms and dental dams
A condom, put on from the start and used throughout, is the most effective way to reduce sexually transmitted infections during penetration. For oral sex, a condom or a dental dam lowers the risk.
Reviewed by Francisco Muñoz, editor ·
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