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Physical effort: Low Lateral

Side-by-Side Face to Face: Intimacy without bearing weight

In Side-by-Side Face to Face, both partners lie on their sides facing each other, heads on the same pillow and legs intertwined so their pelvises meet. Unlike spooning, where both face the same way, here you can look into each other's eyes, kiss and hold each other. Nobody carries anyone's weight, penetration is shallow and the pace is slow, which makes it one of the most restful positions there is.

Also known as: Side-by-side · Side-lying missionary · Face-to-face spooning · Lazy missionary

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Illustration of Side-by-Side Face to Face: Both partners lie on their sides facing each other, legs intertwined to bring their pelvises together, for slow, shallow penetration or genital rubbing with no
Anatomy and biomechanics

Both lie on their sides on the bed, face to face, with their heads on pillows at the same height. The receiving partner lifts the upper leg and rests it over the penetrating partner's hip, while the lower legs slide between each other to bring the pelvises close. The lower arm can go under the partner's neck or pillow, and the upper hand is free to hold the back or buttocks. Each person supports themselves on their own side, so there is no weight on anyone and no pressure on the abdomen. Movement comes from small rocking motions of the pelvis, shared by both; penetration is shallow and pelvic contact is close.

Why this position works

It combines the closeness of face-to-face sex with the comfort of lying on your side: eye contact, kisses and a full embrace, without anyone carrying weight. Because it is so restful, it lends itself to slow sex and long sessions. Some women feel the clitoris rub against their partner's pubic bone, and either partner can add a hand for extra stimulation. Many people find it comfortable when they are tired, during pregnancy or with back pain, though every body is different.

Deep Intimacy Relaxation and Surrender Easy Ergonomics Senior (60+) Low Lumbar Impact Maximized Clitoral Stimulation Penis-Vagina Configuration Pregnancy-Suitable Vulva-to-Vulva Configuration

Variations of this position

Variation 1: leg over the hip, for more opening

Face to face from the side, with the upper leg of one person supported on the other's hip.

The receiver supports the upper leg on the partner's hip, opening the angle.

  1. Lie on your sides, face to face, heads at the same height.
  2. The receiving partner lifts the upper leg and rests it over the other partner's hip.
  3. The penetrating partner brings the pelvis in underneath that leg.
  4. Move with short rocking motions; the upper leg can rise or drop to change the angle.

Variation 2: tight embrace, with the leg around the back

The receiving partner wraps the upper leg around the other partner's lower back and both hug with their arms, with no gap between the bodies.

The upper leg no longer just rests on the hip: it wraps around the partner's lower back and pulls them in. The pelvises are pressed closer, the movement shrinks to a short rocking motion and the pubic bones rub more.

  1. From the basic position, the receiving partner hooks the upper leg behind the other partner's lower back.
  2. Both hug with their arms, chest to chest.
  3. The receiving partner draws the other partner in with the leg.
  4. Rock the pelvises slowly and briefly, keeping the bodies together.

Variation 3: a pillow under the hip to match heights

A firm pillow under the shorter partner's hip brings both pelvises to the same height without having to shuffle down the bed.

The pillow raises one partner's pelvis slightly, so your faces can stay close while your pelvises line up. It eases the strain on the waist and neck of whoever had to stretch or curl up.

  1. Lie on your sides, face to face, and check where your pelvises meet.
  2. The partner whose pelvis sits lower places a firm pillow under their hip.
  3. Intertwine your legs again and bring your pelvises together.
  4. Adjust the thickness of the pillow until you can kiss without straining your neck.

Variation 4: with a hand on the clitoris

The upper bodies move a few centimetres apart so that a hand can stroke the clitoris during penetration.

By easing the upper bodies apart while keeping the pelvises together, you make room for either partner to bring the upper hand to the clitoris. You lose a little of the embrace, but add direct stimulation that many people find essential.

  1. From the basic position, move your upper bodies slightly apart without separating your pelvises.
  2. The receiving partner or the other partner brings the upper hand to the clitoris.
  3. Match the strokes to the rocking of your pelvises.
  4. Say out loud which pressure and rhythm work.

✓ Tips
  • Shift down or up the bed until your pelvises are level; a pillow under the hip of the shorter partner helps.
  • Rest the upper leg over your partner's hip and slide the lower legs between each other to get closer.
  • Use lubricant: the shallow angle can make entry and rubbing less smooth.
  • Keep the movements short and slow; use your free hand to caress or stimulate the clitoris.
  • During pregnancy it avoids pressure on the belly, but if there are complications, ask the person following the pregnancy.
Interaction type
Vaginal penetration or genital rubbing, side-lying face to face
Active anatomy
Penis / vulva
Receptive anatomy
Vagina / vulva
Main stimulation
Shallow vaginal penetration; possible clitoral friction against the partner's pubic bone
Setups and participants
Couple · 2 people GayHeteroLesbian

Frequently asked questions

Is it a good position during pregnancy?

It is often comfortable, because nobody puts weight on the belly. As the belly grows you may need to separate the upper bodies a little and bring the hips closer. If there are complications, check with the person following the pregnancy.

Is penetration difficult?

It takes some adjusting: put your pelvises at the same height and let the receiving partner rest their upper leg over the other partner's hip. Penetration is shallow, so it is about closeness rather than depth.

Is it suitable for slow sex?

Yes: it takes very little effort, allows eye contact and kissing, and invites a slow rhythm.

Can two women do it?

Yes, with genital rubbing (tribadism) or a strap-on; there is a dedicated version for lesbians.

Sources and references

  • Literatura de sexología clínica y ergonomía sexual

Reviewed by the editorial team ·

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