The child as a sexual being

Saying that the child is a sexual being means that sexuality, in its broad sense (body, feelings, identity and relationships), is part of human development from birth. It does not mean that children have an adult sexuality or adult interests. Recognising this helps parents, carers and teachers respond calmly to children's curiosity and, above all, protect them better.

What it means and what it does not

The Standards for Sexuality Education in Europe, published by the WHO Regional Office for Europe and BZgA (2010), note that developmental psychology regards children as sexual beings from the start, although their sexuality differs from an adult's in its expression, content and aims. The same document warns that adults should not interpret children's behaviour from their own adult experience.

In everyday life, being a sexual being in childhood looks very ordinary: needing closeness and affection, being curious about one's own body and about differences between bodies, asking where babies come from, or gradually building an identity. This is the foundation of sexuality in its broad sense, and none of it has an erotic meaning.

How it shows at each stage

Ages 0 to 3

The bond with caregivers, physical contact and hygiene routines build emotional security. It is a good age to learn the names of body parts, just as children learn the words for nose or elbow.

Ages 3 to 6

Questions arrive ("Why don't I have…?", "How was I born?"), along with pretend play. Some children touch their bodies, including their genitals, out of curiosity or to soothe themselves. This is common at this age and is no cause for alarm: simply explain, without scolding, which things are private.

Ages 6 to 12

Modesty grows, along with interest in rules, friendship and differences. It is best to explain the changes of puberty, such as periods or first ejaculations, before they happen. The WHO Standards recommend introducing each topic before the child reaches that stage. Later, sex education in adolescence continues the journey.

What UNESCO and WHO recommend

The International Technical Guidance on sexuality education (UNESCO and five other UN agencies, revised edition 2018) suggests starting formal teaching at around age 5, with topics revisited each year in greater depth. For ages 5 to 8, its learning objectives include:

• Knowing the names and basic functions of body parts, including the genitals, and knowing that being curious about them is normal.
• Understanding that everyone has "body rights" and identifying which parts of the body are private.
• Knowing how to respond to touch that feels uncomfortable: say "no", move away and tell a trusted adult.
• Knowing that violence and abuse are never the victim's fault.

As WHO puts it, with younger children, teaching about sexuality does not mean teaching about sex.

Why recognising it protects children

According to WHO, 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men report having been sexually abused as a child. Silence does not protect: it leaves children without words to explain what is happening to them. A child who can name their body, recognises secrets that feel bad and knows whom to turn to is better prepared to ask for help. That is why WHO lists, among its prevention strategies, programmes that teach children about consent, how to avoid abuse and how to seek help.

Common myths

• "Talking about the body sparks curiosity too early." The curiosity is already there. Age-appropriate information simply gives it reliable answers.
• "The real names for genitals are rude." They are body words like any other. Nicknames convey shame and make it harder for a child to say what has happened.
• "Abuse is committed by strangers." The UNESCO guidance points out that it can come from someone known and trusted, even a family member.

How to support children at home and at school

• Answer what is asked with short, truthful sentences, without adding what has not been asked.
• Use the correct names for body parts from an early age.
• Do not make children give kisses or hugs: their "no" counts too.
• Explain the difference between public and private, and between surprises, which are eventually shared, and secrets that feel bad, which should never be kept.
• Agree on a shared message with the school. In Spain, for example, the law makes relationships and sexuality education part of the curriculum throughout compulsory schooling.

You will find practical ideas by age in our entry on sex education for children.

When to seek help

Talk to your GP or health visitor, the school's pastoral team or a specialist helpline if you notice knowledge or behaviour that does not fit the child's age, behaviour that continues despite clear limits, intense fear of a person or place, sudden regression (bedwetting again, nightmares), or if the child tells you something that worries you.

If a child discloses abuse, listen calmly, believe them, tell them they were right to tell you and that it is not their fault, and do not question them at length. In the UK, adults can call the NSPCC helpline (0808 800 5000) and children can call Childline (0800 1111); elsewhere, contact your national child helpline. In an emergency, call 999 or 112.