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Physical effort: Medium Frontal

Butterfly Hug: face to face with her legs together

The Butterfly Hug is a face-to-face position lying down. She lies on her back with her legs straight and close together. He kneels astride her legs on all fours, arms straight and hands on the bed beside her shoulders, his face above hers. Because her legs stay closed, penetration is shallow and snug, and they can look at each other and kiss throughout. He sets the pace; she can rest her hands on his arms and chest.

Also known as: Iris

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Illustration of Butterfly Hug: Face to face: she lies on her back with her legs straight and together, and he is on all fours above her.
Anatomy and biomechanics

She lies flat on her back, legs stretched out and pressed together, and rests her hands on his arms or chest. He is on all fours above her, facing her: knees on the bed on either side of her legs, arms straight, hands beside her shoulders and head above her face. His weight stays on his hands and knees, not on her, so body contact is partial. He moves with his hips; her closed thighs limit depth and make the entrance feel tighter, and the base of the penis may rub against the vulva. The load falls on his wrists and knees. Her belly is free and the effort for her is minimal.

Why this position works

Many couples like it because it is intimate without being demanding: they can look at each other and kiss throughout. With her legs together, the fit can feel tighter and the movement may rub the vulva and clitoral area, which some women find pleasurable. She can relax on her back while he sets the rhythm. How it feels varies from person to person.

Deep Intimacy Power Play Sensory Exploration Medium Penis-Vagina Configuration

Variations of this position

Variation 1: cushion under her hips, a different angle

Same face-to-face position, with a firm cushion under her buttocks.

A firm cushion under her buttocks tilts her pelvis upwards. Her legs stay straight and together, but the angle of entry changes and penetration can be a little deeper. He may need to shift his knees slightly lower down the bed to line up.

  1. She lies on her back and slides a firm cushion under her buttocks.
  2. She keeps her legs straight and together.
  3. He gets on all fours above her, knees either side of her legs, and adjusts his position until their hips line up.
  4. Start slowly and change the cushion height if the angle is uncomfortable.

Variation 2: grinding instead of thrusting, more rubbing

He moves slightly higher up her body and rocks his pelvis against hers instead of thrusting.

He shifts a few centimetres towards her head, so his pelvis presses against her pubic bone. Instead of in-and-out thrusts, he makes slow rocking or circular movements, keeping the penis inside. Penetration stays shallow, and the pressure and rubbing on the vulva and clitoral area increase, which some women enjoy more than thrusting.

  1. Start in the basic position, with her legs together.
  2. He moves slightly up her body until his pubic bone rests against hers.
  3. He rocks his pelvis up and down or in small circles, without pulling out.
  4. She can tell him whether to press more or less, or add her own movement.

Variation 3: on his forearms, closer and easier on the wrists

He lowers from straight arms onto his forearms, bringing his chest closer to hers.

Instead of straight arms, he rests on his forearms beside her head. His chest comes closer to hers, so there is more body contact and kissing is easier, and the load moves from his wrists to his elbows and shoulders. He still keeps his weight on his forearms and knees, not on her.

  1. Start in the basic position.
  2. He bends his elbows and lowers onto his forearms, one at a time, beside her head.
  3. He keeps his knees either side of her legs and his weight off her body.
  4. Move in short strokes; she can wrap her arms around his back.

✓ Tips
  • Use lubricant: with her legs closed, entry can feel tighter.
  • Move in short strokes: with shallow penetration the penis can slip out, and pushing back in hard can hurt either of you.
  • He should keep his weight on his hands and knees and not drop it onto her.
  • If his wrists tire, he can lower onto his forearms or rest on his fists.
  • Try small rocking or grinding movements instead of long thrusts if you want more rubbing against the vulva.
Interaction type
Face-to-face vaginal penetration
Active anatomy
Penis
Receptive anatomy
Vagina and vulva
Main stimulation
Shallow vaginal penetration with her legs closed, with possible rubbing of the vulva
Setups and participants
Couple · 2 people Hetero

Frequently asked questions

Is this position suitable for beginners?

Yes. It is simple and calm for her, though he needs some strength in his arms and wrists to stay up on all fours.

How can we increase stimulation?

Try grinding the pelvis instead of thrusting, add a hand or a small vibrator on the clitoris, or slip a cushion under her hips to change the angle.

Why are her legs kept together?

Closed legs make the fit snugger and keep penetration shallow. If it feels too tight, she can part her legs a little or you can use more lubricant.

Reviewed by the editorial team ·

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